Sector 512 Productions - Videos and Podcasts designed to insult all five of your senses

Grainbelt TV Ad

gust0208 — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 23:14:47 +0000

Well, Sector 512 finally has gone big time and officially sold out to “the man” if you consider “the man” as being the infamous Wally the Beer Man and that Wally is hawking Grainbelt beer. This is our TV ad that is being entered into a contest for local “artists” (and we use that term more loosely than loose meat sandwiches) to try out their talents in displaying the virtues of Primo in less than 60 seconds. As our first potential big break, we gave it that ‘ol Sector 512 try by filming it in roughly 3 hours a few days before it was due.

Length: 1 min 03 sec

Yardstick Beatdown!

gust0208 — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 23:12:58 +0000

The wait is over! “Yardstick Beatdown” has finally passed the strict quality standards you expect from Sector 512 productions (did not induce vomiting , nausea , or strabismus ). The final edition still features an angry red-head and severe lashings with a Minnesota State Fair yardstick!

Length: 6 min 54 sec

Wheel Chair Car Skiing

gust0208 — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 23:11:32 +0000

A testament to the lasting legacy of the infamous “Hendershot”. Hendershot was the name of our trusty $5 wheelchair that has seen us through many a zany adventure. Here you can see Hendershot (driven by EC) being towed behind the car at break-neck speed. Does EC wipe out? Does EC do a 360? Download now and find out!

Length: 2 min 16 sec

Tony the Gay Ax-throwing Instructor

gust0208 — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 23:09:49 +0000

EC and Kunkel decided to film a little cinematic surprise for me (Tom) while I was using the head. This little gem was discovered and quickly polished into a very short little clip. Download and enjoy.

Length: 0 min 27 sec

The Leg!!

gust0208 — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 23:08:22 +0000

“The Leg!!” represents our first try at campy horror, short story, and gratuitous use of a plastic mannequin leg wearing a wig with a knife. Kunkel turns in a powerful and moving performance as the hero of this film.

Length: 10 min 56 sec [includes bloopers]

The Bet

gust0208 — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 23:06:48 +0000

Probably our most popular clip, “The Bet” features the challenge of EC to Kunkel and Daren if they could each eat their own crave case (30 sliders a piece). Well, 60 White Castle hamburgers and 2.5 hours later, Kunkel and Daren were winners! Well, if you consider winners as have puke on themselves and smelling like hamburgers.

Length: 10 min 00 sec

Sock Monkey Poker

gust0208 — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 23:05:46 +0000

One of our deepest films, this clip features a high-stakes game of poker between a sock monkey and a shirtless Hitler with tape on his nipples. Hell, I don’t know what the heck we were thinking, but it’s fun to watch!

Length: 2 min 07 sec

Ski Chair

gust0208 — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 23:04:17 +0000

What does one get when combining a boring winter day and a full dumpster with cross-country skis and a recliner? Add in four counter-sinked screws and you have the cadillac of sled technology, Ski Chair! This film features the exclusine footage shot using ” Helmet Cam “, letting you be in middle of the action!

Length: 4 min 04 sec

Skat Shooting

gust0208 — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 23:03:13 +0000

Wow, how to describe this one? Skat shooting was the brain-child of EC and was his dream to film someone being shot with feces (aka skat). “Movie skat” was made from chewed-up hersey’s kisses and creamed corn and then launched from a silenced potato cannon. The rest you should see for your self.

Length: 6 min 25 sec

Leon et Guy

gust0208 — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 22:59:04 +0000

A bold new direction for Sector 512 with a foray in the realm of “Film Noir”. Or as close as one can get when the film is created by two loud and quite un-civilized gentlemen name Leon and Guy that live in a mobile home community.

Length: 5 min 02 sec

Kunkel Stand-up

gust0208 — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 22:57:21 +0000

Ah, the 2004 St. Thomas Law school talent show. It will be forever remembered as Kunkel’s first big break. Also the advent of my personal favorite term being ” flop sweat “. “Flop sweat” is the sweat one gets after trying out the chemotherapy joke to an anemic response.

[ Download MP3 ]

Length: 12 min 19 sec

Huge Tick

gust0208 — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 22:55:26 +0000

After filming Appleball and heading inside to change, EC discovered an absolutely enormous, grotesque and blood-inflated wood tick. Watch this little beast lumber about our picnic table and prepare to be grossed out! Warning , the tick does meet it’s demise in this clip.

Length: 1 min 50 sec

Home-made ECG

gust0208 — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 22:53:43 +0000

Some of Slashdot.org best articles are links to web-sites of people displaying their home-brew equipment. As a medical student, my interest was piqued by plans for a home-made ecg machine (see the electrical pulse of your heart and calculate heart rate) using $5 in parts. The movie shows the testing and was done with inspiration from VH1 pop-up videos.

Length: 1 min 57 sec

got puke?

gust0208 — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 22:51:46 +0000

How does Sector 512 Productions celebrate the swiftly approaching entrance of one of it’s core member into the bond of holy matrimony? By going to a nearby American Indian casino (Mystic Lake), purchasing the buffet, recording what we eat, eating as much as can without physically puking in the buffet line, driving home and bonging glasses of 2% milk until we puke in a spectacular fashion upon EC’s porch steps.

Length: 7 min 02 sec

Measure Once, Pound Twice

gust0208 — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 04:35:17 +0000

Another hidden treasure found by moi when editing up the footage for “Da’ 60″. Basically, it involves EC watching the construction guys across the street and saying lewd things. This one struck my fancy (and my homoerotic illusions of construction fellows in white hard hats driving nails into soft, forgiving wood… uhm … I mean I thought it was cool).

Length: 0 min 22 sec

MGR and Rheingold

gust0208 — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 04:33:59 +0000

Some experiences in life are meant to be shared with close friends, and mine was learning to give male genital/rectal exams on elderly patients. Add in a dash (or 24-pack) of Rheingold beer and you have a recipe for success.

Length: 4 min 10 sec

Obese Self Defense

gust0208 — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 04:32:39 +0000

Defensive options for the morbidly obese are meager, lacking and sparse (unlike their waistlines). Luckily, Sector 512 has put together an informative clip on self defense for the horizontally challenged featuring the cutting-edge technique of the ” boxcutta “.

Length: 4 min 01 sec

Road Trip 2004

gust0208 — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 04:30:10 +0000

This story begins with the noble quest from “Mel’s Hole”, a mythical bottomless hole in Ellensburg, Washington. 3/4’s of the Sector 512 crew felt up to this challenge and made the brave journey across half the nation to find the hole, and found themselves along the way…

NOT! What do you think this is, the Oprah Winfrey TV-movie of the week for Lifetime? While we were looking for a bottomless hole, our main goal was to swim in every potable (and non-potable it turns out) body of water from here to Washington. Lots of guys without shirts, some semi-domestic burros and a hotel room in Seattle, how can you NOT watch this?

Length: 38 min 53 sec

Road Trip 2000

gust0208 — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 04:28:00 +0000

Do you (our ravenous legions of devoted groupies and fans) every wonder what the heck the Sector 512 crew looked like in the year 2000? Do you wonder if they were any more uncouthe, offensive or hairy when they were wee lads? Don’t hesitate for a second to download this clip and to find out more about the fascinating “Porn Palace“.

Warning: copious amounts of “Orbitz” was drunk (and nearly regurgitated) during the making of this film.

Length: 35 min 14 sec

Friendnap

gust0208 — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 22:13:00 +0000

The life of a mediocore criminal is a lonely one and can drive a person to drastic measures just for someone to talk to on occasion. Add in a ski-mask, a fake 9mm, Doritoes bag and a trip to Festival Foods and you have a show!

Extreme Foosball

gust0208 — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 22:11:05 +0000

Our first test of using a green screen and whatever low-grade stock footage we could our grubby hands on.

Evil Jack

gust0208 — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 22:09:35 +0000

What more can I say then look at that screenshot! Red clown nose, suspenders, one boot and a baseball bat. Now that’s Evil Jack!

Da’ 60

gust0208 — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 22:07:49 +0000

Sometimes the greatest ideas are born of inspiration, but ours are born of desperation. Not entirely satisfied (or intoxicated) by the average man’s 40-oz malt liquor beverage, we present ” Da’ 60 “. “Da’ 60″ is 60-oz of pure malt liquor heaven to satisfy even the most street-grizzled and liver-cirrhosed pimps, ho’s and miscellaneous thugs.

Crotchshot Sports – Nut Roll

gust0208 — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 22:06:02 +0000

The first in the series of the newest and most edgy of all extreme sports involving the hitting of other people in the nuts.

Crotchshot Sports – Appleball

gust0208 — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 22:03:20 +0000

The second in this enduring series, this episode features a pool, two tubes, two pairs of nuts and one very solid apple.

Circle Pines 55014

gust0208 — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 22:00:47 +0000

An in-depth (as deep as one can go in 5 minutes) documentary of our favorite home town, Circle Pines MN.

Bazeltine Ad Agency – Products

gust0208 — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 21:52:40 +0000

The Bazeltine Ad Agency is one of the premier promotional ad agencies in the world with Mr. Bazeltine at the helm. Watch as a number of hopefuls pitch the next “big-thing” to Mr. Bazeltine.

New site is live!

gust0208 — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 04:31:09 +0000

Hey boys,

Here it is, the new and improved site. It will take me a few days to get everything uploaded, but it is in the process.

Cheers,

Tom

Russian Home Shopping Network

gust0208 — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 04:16:03 +0000

A personal favorite, Mike is the personality of the Russian Home Shopping Network selling items such as “Black Anise” candy, stool made from Hi-C fruit cans, jar of pens, and a Ms. Butterworth pancake-topping container.

Blind Date

gust0208 — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 03:24:27 +0000

This little clip was our first foray into film making. A romantic tale of a man, a pair of socks, his girl and her size 11 Sorel snow boots.