The ORIGINAL Sector 512 Podcast

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:07:33 — 30.9MB)

Blobfish, Korean Penis Fish, Candiru, oh my!

Those mysterious Sector 512 guys are back are dredging up all of god’s best depravities for your listening pleasure.  As anticipated, multiple lists are dedicated to the animals of the world with the biggest penises and it basically rolls down hill like a 12 inch log from there.

Don’t miss some absolutely repulsive items like duck rape, “traumatic insemination”, corkscrew vaginas, bottle brush cocks, gelatinous flesh, copious slime production, willy-nilly sex changes, and the “Bo Jackson” of the animal kingdom.  My god, our mothers would be ashamed and onto the pictures!

Yes son, that is its corkscrew ridculously huge rape-happy duck penis

Korean Penis Fish or "Huge Uncircumcised Throbbing Dick Fish"

The thing on the right is the semi-autonomous octopus pussy seeker penis

Envision that all angry and jammed head first up your pee-hole

Hagfish - Looks like Jaws mated with a Graboid sporting collagen lip injections

Blobfish - About the only thing a duck won't rape

Scotoplane - Just imagine this thing giving you an eskimo kiss

Wildcard is to come up with a new animal mascot for the Minnesota Twins to replace that lame-ass plushy-wannabe TC the Bear.  Apparently nothing says Minnesota like invasive species.

Send in a list for the next episode to tom@sector512productions.com and it will be the Top 10 Children’s Books That Need to Be Written (examples include “Everybody Poops on Tammie’s Two Mommies” or “Show Me on the Doll where the Wild Things Touched You”) and the wild card is to pick your favorite existing children’s book.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 52:12 — 23.9MB)

Eventually it had to happen via a radioactive mishap, genetic mutation, terrorism or just shit luck, but zombies are now everywhere and you will thank zombie Jesus that you listened to this podcast and are now well prepared.

Join the hosts as they go through their picks of crucial items to have on hand to fend back the zombie hordes, or establish some sort of questionable hippie commune in a local Walmart.  As a sneak peak, check out the pictures below of the ultimate zombie-squashing vehicle found by Daren, the Hydrema 910 Mine Clearing Vehicle.

Wildcard was to pick the best zombie movie and we have special thanks to Dead Alive and Thankskilling!

Send in a list to podcast@sector512productions.com for the big episode 50, Top 10 Animals and wildcard is pick a new animal mascot for the Minnesota Twins!

This is fucking terrifying - for zombies!

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:15:13 — 34.4MB)

It’s been a long decade of shit doing down, shit going up and awesome Sector 512 podcasts.  The guys go through and pick their favorite things to happen in the past decade and go from sappy (my marriage? BLECH!!) to downright creepy (Somali Piracy) and Tom has a hard time remembering that 2010 is NOT included in this time range.  That and EC is cell-phone using hypocrite, don’t miss him getting called out on the show.

Wildcard: Worst thing to happen in 2000-2009 (9/11? Oh year, we go there).

Send in a list for the next episode to tom@sector512productions.com and we are looking for the Top 10 Items to bring with you to the next Zombie Apocalypse and the wild card is to find the all-time best zombie movie!

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 38:47 — 17.8MB)

Please god, bear with us on this one.  We spent our collective creative load on the Top 10 Most Disgusting Foods podcast and are bunting for a pity hit on this one.  Check out the Top 10 Things to bring on a time machine and surprising number of them have to do with not getting STD’s in the future, weird.

We also can’t prevent ourselves from discussing the cult “hit”, The Room with one of the worse acting performances (Tommy Wiseau) we have ever, ever seen.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 1:12:55 — 33.4MB)

The Sector 512 crew weighs in on the foods that turn their stomachs inside out and they range from the bizarre (placenta) to the rather pedestrian (jello?!!?).  We also are able to dig up some nice photographic evidence of a few of the foods below for your visual (and regurgitory) enjoyment.  Wild card is to come up with a new item for the McDonald’s Dollar Menu.

Broasted Baby - *Quiz* Did you notice the little leg to the right of the plate?

Canned Chicken - any resembalance to a horse's vagina is completely by accident.

Canned Bananas - If "Cock" is a real brand name, kudos.

The McGangBang - Apparently this is real and real awesome.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 30:52 — 14.1MB)

The title pretty much says it all (if you haven’t seen the pattern yet, I am ashamed of you) and with listening you will have your fair share of bums, semen, and blue balls.

Wildcard:

The Minnesota Twins are getting a new stadium and it has been decided they need new uniforms.  Come up with a new uniform that pays respect to their history and MN history of mobsters, moonshine and Indian casinos.  Hats are required, but sleeves are not.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 38:22 — 17.6MB)

Be a bartender and come up with your top 10 cocktails endorsed by a celebrity. For example, the Ted Danson is a flavorful mixture of Sam Adams, Just For Men hair dye, and Whoopi Goldberg’s menstrual fluid. Served with a hot-dog straw.

Wildcard:

The Jonas Brothers have just renounced their whole religious “married to Jesus” thing, so come up with the title of their next album and a few key hits.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 41:59 — 19.2MB)

What is grosser than your typical Sector 512 crew member?  Them trying to propose marriage through some sort of elaborate stage-death and then pop out of the coffin saying “MARRY ME!”.  That and the one with the bum kidnapping, that one was pretty cool too.

Wild card was pick the next cartoon of your childhood to be made into a live-action movie. Pick the actors and their roles.  Watch out Charles Schultz, this shit gets real.

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Us Sector512′ians can’t keep away from baseball so we decide to hit the history and trivia books to come up with the top 10 Baseball Players of all time that are famous not for their athletic prowess, but usually deviant behavior or murder.  One dude pitched a no-hitter high on acid and another tried to light FIVE people on fire and cut them with a machete.

Wildcard is simply to come up with your dream scenario for quitting your job.  Usually you would think we would have ideas of grandeur, but it usually devolved to poo jokes and taking multiple innocent lives along with our own.

Next week we have the Top 10 Ways to Propose Marriage along with a picking your favorite childhood cartoon to be made into a movie AND picking actors for the major roles.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (29.2MB)

The Sector 512 crew decides to “keep it real” and discuss some dream jobs.  Unfortunately, the jobs we pick are likely illegal in more countries, morally reprehensible and basically sick.

Wildcard this week simply rocks.  Our task was to come up with three strange facts that have come to light during the prolonged professional baseball steroid use hearings.  And we hit them out of the park.  Learn some unknown facts behind Al Newman’s genetic heritage and other shocking facts!